I, quite literally, #blamedrew for my exposure to the "I Like Chinese Food" video that's making the rounds these days, often in the form of "the same person who brought you Rebecca Black's 'Friday' has now created THIS!"
You will note that I am not embedding Alison Gold's video itself in this post, for a simple reason - the chorus is catchy, like a virus. And I do not want to be responsible for causing you to sing these lyrics endlessly in your head:
I love Chinese food
You know that's it's true
I love fried rice
I love noodles
I love chow mein chow me-me-me-mein
The person who brought you Rebecca Black and Alison Gold is one Patrice Wilson, and he (like any great musical artist, including Led Zeppelin and Nirvana) has a sure-fire formula:
While it looks like it took him a year of staggering around, pleading with the world to keep him relevant with their collective hate, he finally realized that the only way to generate the same buzz as "Friday" was to do the exact same music video again. No exaggeration there -- the two songs and videos are almost identical. They both open on a calendar, they both have rap interludes in the exact same section, they both promise a vague version of "fun" and "a good time" over and over and they both spend an inordinate amount of time pointing at objects and announcing what they are.
Patrice Wilson knew what he was doing and intentionally followed a formula that he stumbled upon with Rebecca Black to ensure that everyone despised his next music video, because that was the only way he could guarantee that it would be watched by millions and millions of people. Just think about that for a second. Fame is still desirable, even when it comes in the form of truckloads of letters from people inviting you to fall in a fire.
As unhealthy and sad as that sounds, it gets worse.
If Patrice Wilson wanted to situate himself in the focal point of the world's loathing, that would be fine. We genuinely like having something to hate, so if someone wants to fill that role, then there's really no harm. Except Patrice Wilson isn't the star of the "It's Thanksgiving" music video, even if he wishes he could be. No, the star is 12-year-old Nicole Westbrook...
Uh, wait a minute. I thought her name was Alison Gold, and I thought the song was called "Chinese Food," not "It's Thanksgiving." What gives?
You see, "Chinese Food" is not Patrice Wilson's second foray into bad teen music videos. It's at least his third - the quotes above are from a cracked.com post that was written back in November 2012. I had never heard of Nicole Westbrook until now, although Michelle Jaworski apparently has, and has placed Gold's work on a timeline with Black's and Westbrook's.
At this point, little is known about Gold. Last I checked, her Twitter account had no posts. Oh well, the kids use Snapchat anyway...
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