Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Music-related phrases that you never saw, and will never see

When reading the music press, there are certain phrases that do not shock you; "Heavy Metal Star Arrested for Drugs" is one example. But there are certain statements that you will NEVER see in the music press. Here are a few examples:

"Madness spent the last three months in Hollywood recording their new album."
(If there is any band that represents the word "English," it's the band Madness. Perhaps they'd spent two nights on the Sunset Strip, but after that it would be "time for tea" and they'd scurry back across the pond.)

"Kanye West is refraining from promoting his recent acoustic album."
(Unlikely on at least two levels. Even if Kanye were to grab an acoustic guitar and sing without Auto-Tune, it is very unlikely that he could keep his mouth shut about the endeavor.)

"Oasis has reunited with both Gallagher brothers, but will not release a new record and will perform all concerts at free venues."
(I'm not ruling out a future reunion of Oasis, but if they do reunite, they will reunite for the same reason that the Sex Pistols reunited - money.)

"Pat Boone is promoting his album of heavy metal covers."
(Oh wait - Boone DID do that.)