Some music is not conducive to #apmp proposal writing

I write proposals for a living. This requires research, discussions, and (argh) meetings, but at some point you have to actually sit down and start writing. When I write, I often put on headphones, attach them to my smartphone, and start streaming music.

Certain music can be very good for proposal writing. When you're up against a deadline, loud music (such as some Nirvana songs) works very well. At other times, calmer music such as Air is called for. (DISCLOSURE: I work for a subsidiary of a French company that has another office in the state of Washington.)

But because of the nature of pop lyrics, there are certain songs that should be avoided during proposal writing.

Take the Pink Floyd song "Have a Cigar," which started playing one day while I was working on a proposal. If you're unfamiliar with the song, it is sung from the perspective of a music industry executive - a know-nothing. (This is the song that includes the famous question "Which one's Pink?")

In his skewering of the executive, lyricist Roger Waters trots out more cliches and double-speak than you can shake a stick at. When you're trying to write a high-quality proposal, it can be counterproductive to hear lyrics like this in your ears:

You're gonna make it if you try...

Well I've always had a deep respect,

And I mean that most sincerely...

It could be made into a monster

If we all pull together as a team...

I shudder to think of the executive summaries that have been written while Waters' lyrics were playing. "If we all pull together as a team, WidgetCorp will help MegaCorp optimize its synergies - and we mean that most sincerely."

Note that Waters was writing these lyrics intentionally. Think of all the popular music lyrics in which the lyricist unknowingly writes junk. There are a lot of them (although I should defend my alumni association friend by noting the Dr. Demento did not write "Fish Heads").

Diplomat Drummer

There are a vast number of videos on YouTube, and each one has its own story. This video, which had been viewed approximately 300 times when I first saw it today, shows a guy playing the drums while two women are making tortillas. The title of the video is "Darrell Jenks Diplomat Drummer."

In the summer of 1979 I received a short letter from a forest ranger outside of Burns, Oregon. This person was not a full-time forest ranger; he was a student at Reed College who was about to begin his senior year, and he was going to be my dorm advisor in the fall. (In Reed College terms, he was a "dorm dad.") He wrote identical (OK, Kaz, nearly identical) letters to the six incoming freshmen who would be in his dorm (at that time, Eastport consisted of two triple rooms, a bathroom, and a single room for the dorm dad).

A month or two later I met my dorm dad, Darrell Jenks, who frankly looked like a forest ranger, with a huge beard. And he played the drums - in fact, a Reed College band, Daryl Jenks, was named after him (although, unlike John McVie who had a band named after him, Darrell Jenks never officially joined Daryl Jenks).

But the guy was brilliant. I've known several people who can speak multiple languages with ease, but with all due respect to my former co-worker Alex and my German daughter Anni, Darrell topped them all. Here's what the New York Times said about Jenks:

Darrell, a brilliant linguist...spoke nine languages including Japanese, Korean, and Chinese. In 2007, Darrell volunteered to serve in Maysan, Iraq, where - largely self-taught - he picked up the basics of his fourth super-hard language, Arabic.

In the spring of 1980, the beard magically disappeared. Jenks was about to graduate, and he had a job interview. He eventually ended up with the U.S. State Department, and spent thirty years serving his country.

Now take another look at that video of the Diplomat Drummer. Notice the medical equipment behind the drums, and the cot over to the side. Jenks was dying. That New York Times article that talked about Jenks was his obituary.

There are a vast number of videos on YouTube, and each one has its own story.

P.S. Thanks to Polly for letting me know.

P.P.S. Here's an obituary video.

Turn the volume beyond 11...to 194 and beyond

The items below were taken from a William Hanby document at makeitlouder.com. They list the decibel levels for various sounds, including the musical (and non-musical) sounds listed below.

100 NORMAL AVERAGE CAR OR HOUSE STEREO AT MAXIMUM VOLUME

117-123 HOME STEREO SYSTEM, A VERY LOUD AND POWERFUL 200-2000 WATTS

120-130 FRONT ROW AT A ROCK CONCERT- UP TO 200 REFRIGERATOR SIZE SPEAKERS AND 50000-300000 WATTS OF CLEAN, FULL FREQUENCY SOUND

130 (N)MARCHING BAND-OVERALL LEVEL AT A DISTANCE, 100-200 MEMBERS

142 (P) INSIDE A CAR WITH TWO PRO 18 INCH WOOFERS AND 300 WATTS EACH

150 (N)ROCK CONCERT “THE WHO” TWO 10 STORY STACKS = 144 DOUBLE REFRIDGERATOR SIZED SPEAKERS, ACTUAL LEVEL REACHED 120 DB AT A DISTANCE OF 32 METERS FOR THIS NORMALIZED READING OF 150 DB.CONTINOUS LEVEL 114-118db (P) AT 32 METERS

156 (P)IN A MINI-VAN WITH TWENTY 12” WOOFERS AND 19,000 WATTS OF AMPLIFIER POWER. EACH SPEAKERS IS DISPLACING (PUMPING BACK AND FORTH ) 0.75 INCHES IF LONG HAIR WOMEN SIT IN IT, HER HAIR WILL FLY OUT OF WINDOW WITH BASS WINDSHIELD WIPERS FLY OFF VEHICLE 1/2 TO 2 INCHES, DOOR AND FRONT WINDSHIELD FLEXION MAY BE UP TO +-2 INCHES OR 4 INCHES PEAK TO PEAK EVEN WITH EARPLUGS (-30 DB) AND HEADMUFFS (-24 DB) = -54 DB IT’S STILL LOUD

158 (P)INSIDE A ROCK CONCERT SPEAKER BOX REFRIDGERATOR SIZE AT MAX. 5000 WATTS

162 U.S. FESTIVAL ROCK CONCERT 1983. 10 SEPARATE STACKS, AMPS = 400,000 WATTS (N)

194.09(P) = 1 (ONE) AIR ATMOSPHERE = 14.6962 POUNDS PER SQUARE INCH = 14.6962 P.S.I.= 1 ATM SOUND WAVES DISTORT AND ARE NOW DEFINED AS SHOCK WAVES AND THEY BEGIN TO FOLLOW SHOCK WAVE BEHAVIOR. PARTICLE VELOCITY (BLAST WIND) = 590 FEET / SECOND = 180 METERS PER SECOND = 402 MILES PER HOUR.

320 (N)VOLCANO ERUPTION, TAMBORA INDONESIA,1815, EJECTED 36 CUBIC MILES.APPROXIMATELY EQUAL TO 14,000 MEGATON NUCLEAR BOMBS OR A 14 GIGATON BOMB BASED ON EJECTED VOLUME,CHANGE IN MEGATONS TIMES 1.345 EQUALS VOLUME EJECTED CHANGE.IF WAS A NUCLEAR BOMB IT WOULD CREATE A CRATER ABOUT 12.4 MILES WIDE AND 1.33 MILES DEEP.INTERNAL PRESSURE IS BELIEVED TO BE ABOUT 47 MILLION P.S.I. = 347 DB (P)

Better than the original

There have been countless cases in which one musical artist has appropriated the work of another artist, and created a new work that incorporates both the original work and some new material.

In some cases, the original artist or his/her representatives objected to the appropriation, and actually threatened or initiated legal action. The "Sweet Little Sixteen"/"Surfin' USA" dispute was settled relatively quickly, as was another dispute that I will get to shortly. On the other hand, the "He's So Fine"/"My Sweet Lord" dispute involved twenty years of litigation.

In some cases, the original artist provided no comment on the appropriation. Most notably, Ludwig van Beethoven never provided a comment on Electric Light Orchestra's version of "Roll Over Beethoven." In its original form (another Chuck Berry song, by the way), the song only mentioned Beethoven, but by the time ELO recorded it, a significant excerpt from the Fifth Symphony had been included. Not that Beethoven cared. (Not only had Beethoven expired by the time "Roll Over Beethoven" first appeared, but his copyright had expired also.)

In some cases, the original artist was a willing participant in the appropriation. Daft Punk has actually appeared on stage with Kanye West when West has performed "Stronger," his version of "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger."

But there's one thing that unites all of these new versions of old songs. In my opinion, these new versions are better than the originals. Vocally, the Beach Boys blew Chuck Berry out of the water, and the instrumentation was more inventive. And while I have personal problems (religious issues) with Harrison's lyrics, I love his guitar work from that period. "Roll Over Beethoven" has been recorded in many different versions, but the one from the Electric Light Orchestra stands out as a successful attempt to marry classical and rock music. And Kanye (while I again have issues with some of the lyrics) is a much better singer than the Dafts, and again he provides better instrumentation.

But my best example of a re-visitation being better than the original was Kelly Osbourne's take on Viisage's "Fade to Grey." Her version is called "One Word," and while Viisage certainly had a notable take on the song, Osbourne's beats the original.

In my opinion.

I've talked about Kelly Osbourne before. And Electric Light Orchestra.