My oh my...a 2003 post

I've been marking my ten-year blogging anniversary by reprinting some of my favorite blog posts from the past ten years. I've written in a variety of blogs over the decade, and one of my first blogs was called "KOER Synthetica Radio Transcripts." These were supposedly written transcripts of broadcasts from my own personal radio station, based (as are all of my fake activities) in Guasti, California.

The transcripts preserved various commercials, playlists, and other items from this supposed station - and in one case, on November 24, 2003, the transcripts documented an important musical collaboration.

[KOER Synthetica Radio Transcripts]
(dramatic music)

A KOER important exclusive

Before I play the following song, I'd like to thank all the people who have been working behind the scenes to make this possible: Eddie, Will, Lisa, Jun, Robert, Daniel, Alan, John, Paul, George, Ringo, Carrie, Christine, Carnie, Wendy, April, May, June, Peter, Paul, Andrew, Nate, David, Kevin, Gene, Wesley, and of course Fred.

Considering the origins of this song, it's even more topical when you consider the events that have taken place over the last few days.

First, a bit of history.

- - -

On a January day in 1984, Talking Heads lead singer David Byrne was walking down Broadway in Manhattan when he was approached by a group of teenagers. The teenagers were chatting with each other when they noticed Byrne. David, well-known in New York, was not surprised when the youths suddenly hushed, stared in his direction, and ran toward him. However, Byrne was surprised by what happened next.

"Excuse me," asked a girl with a green mohawk. "Are you David Byrne?"

In a friendly manner, David replied, "Yes."

"Wow," said mohawk-girl in awe. "I remember when you were in the Talking Heads."

"Yeah," murmured a boy in agreement.

"Actually, I'm still in the Talking Heads," replied Byrne. "I'm writing some songs right now."

"I remember your show," said the boy. "You guys were really cool."

With a hint of irritation, Byrne turned toward the boy. "We're still busy, working on new things."

"Yeah, but not like Michael Jackson," said mohawk-girl.

Another girl nodded. "Michael Jackson's doing some really trendy stuff. But you guys were good in your day."

"Thank you, I guess," replied David as the group walked away.

David continued to his favorite diner and ran into his good friend Laurie Anderson. Still shaking his head, he described the encounter to her in detail.

"Michael Jackson?" said Anderson in amazement. "What a hack."

"Well, that's what they said," replied Byrne as he shook his head. "I can't believe that they think he's all that creative, though."

"Jackson's been getting a free ride," said Anderson. "He hasn't had to face anyone with real creativity."

"But he does sell a lot of records," mused Byrne. "Success is hotter than creativity any day."

"Maybe," thought Anderson as she sent her vegetarian bacon back to the cook. "But what if several creative people took him on? Thriller Schmiller."

Byrne sat in thought. "We'd need some help."

- - -

Laurie Anderson and David Byrne tried their best. After three months of work, they had recorded seven songs for a planned album called My Oh My, Look How Creative We Are. However, their attempts to assemble an all-star cast proved fruitless, and the seven tracks in fact documented seven rejections from leading music industry names. Here is one of those rejections, set to music by Byrne and Anderson, entitled "Laurie Calls Peter."


BYRNE (spoken) Do you have the number?
ANDERSON (spoken) Yes. I have the number.
BYRNE (sings) Then you'd better do some dialing.
(telephone dialing)
VOICE (spoken) Bloody hell, who is this?
ANDERSON (spoken) Hello. This is Laurie.
VOICE (spoken) It's three a m.
ANDERSON (spoken) It is earlier here. We have a different time.
BYRNE (sings) Time for shouting, time for smiling.
ANDERSON (spoken) Am I speaking to Peter Gabriel?
VOICE (spoken) Not any more. (Hangs up phone.)
BYRNE (sings) He's not a morning person.
ANDERSON (spoken) I guess that you are right.
BYRNE (sings) He's not a morning person.
ANDERSON (spoken) And neither was Elton John.
BYRNE (sings) So I don't know what I will do.
ANDERSON (spoken) You don't know what you will do.
BYRNE (sings) I dont' know what I will do.
ANDERSON (spoken) But you know it will be true.
BYRNE (spoken) What?
ANDERSON (spoken) True.

This exclusive presentation of the Byrne/Anderson/Gabriel song "Laurie Calls Peter" was brought to you by KOER.

Tonight's trivia question

When Dweezil Zappa played on a cover of the song "Smoke on the Water" - a song that covered a Swiss incident involving his father's band - who was the lead singer on the cover version?

Answer here. It was a recording released in 1997.

I'm listening to the entire album on Spotify right now, by the way. I had never heard it before.

Behind the scenes at Empoprises - that Miley Cyrus post in tymshft was supposed to be a Madonna post in Empoprise-MU

Most of you have probably never visited the deluxe Empoprises headquarters at 1 Empire Way Suite 2525 in Guasti, California. But this post gives you a rare peek inside our spacious offices. Yeah, just what you always wanted.

Several years ago, I conceived a story of a young guy, circa 1992, who showed up at a Madonna concert in the early 1990s. You'll recall that this was the time when Madonna had her Erotica CD and her sex book and all that. In the story concept, the young guy had seats at the front row of the concert, and in the middle of the show, started shouting for Madonna to take her clothes off. This guy had heard that Madonna would get naked, and he wanted to get his money's worth.

While I conceived the story, I never got around to writing it. I really couldn't think of a good forum to place the story as I conceived it. In addition, by the time I conceived the story, Madonna had already advanced through several additional phases of her career, and I didn't think that anyone would care about a story about the old Madonna.

Meanwhile the musical world kept on changing - or, more accurately, the musical world kept on not changing. New female musicians emerged to shock and outrage us - Pink, Lady Gaga, whoever.

The most recent scandalous musician, of course, is Miley Cyrus, who within the course of one week, stuck her butt toward a guy on MTV and released a nude video.

Haven't we seen this before, I thought - and then my story idea took shape. Instead of having a young guy getting in trouble at a 1992 Madonna concert, why not have the guy's SON getting in trouble at a 2013 Miley Cyrus concert, for the exact same reason?

I even had a venue for the story - my tymshft blog, which revels in the observations of so-called "new" things that are just like old things. Although there's admittedly a difference between the Miley-Madonna comparison and the cloud computing-CompuServe comparison.

Anyway, the story is here if you'd like to read it. I promise that there are no pictures.

Is Lana Del Rey the new Bob Dylan? (And will you still be hungry after reading this post?)

Is Lana Del Rey the new Bob Dylan? It's a question that should be addressed, because there are definite similarities between the two.

Let's start with the names. There is no "Del Rey," just as there is no "Dylan." Ms. Grant and Mr. Zimmerman renamed themselves early in their lives, in preparation for their musical careers.

In addition, there's a current criticism of Del Rey that was also a common criticism of Dylan in the early stages of his career. Both of them are/were heavily criticized for their inability to sing.

There are certainly other parallels between the two, although Lana hasn't had enough time to systematically offend critical portions of her audience yet. Her Newport, her Nashville Skyline, and her Slow Train Coming have yet to occur.

I am forced to admit, however, that my opinion is not universal. There are those who claim that Lana and Bob are very different. See if you can guess who provided the following comments on Lana Del Rey:

Lana can be called a great songwriter, but not a great performer. There’s a big difference. The claims therefore of Del Rey's musical influence, are far greater than the actual influence.

Socially speaking, this occurs because Lana is one of those rare few, what I call, “bandwagon artists.” There’s a difference between actually liking an artist and being a bandwagoner. [Bandwagoners] jump onto and claim reverence to certain artists because so many others do; because it’s trendy to do so; because it’s uncool NOT to like them. Whether you actually like them or not becomes irrelevant.

In this scenario, people “like” what they “learn” to like from others. The social psychological term for this is called social proof. To be [a part] of the in-group, people become motivated to embrace the fanaticism that surrounds other bandwagon fan's claims of transcendent influence and greatness. This phenomenon then snowballs over time rendering the claims of this profound “influence” to be mathematically inflated and logically overrated.

The answer to my question? No one provided those comments on Lana Del Rey. Tom Leu, however, did provide extremely similar comments in an item entitled Is Bob Dylan overrated?

So perhaps those parallels are pretty deep and bear some consideration. (And her version is closer than Axl's.)



Alex Klinger has considered this issue (although I disagree with his claim that "not many people talk about" Dylan's embellished biography). But Klinger does offer a relevant comment on the issue of authenticity that has dogged both artists:

You are turning away from something you naturally really liked because it might not be entirely authentic. Do you know how many awesome mexican restaurants are not entirely authentic? EVERY SINGLE ONE IN AMERICA.

This Charming Charlie - via .@shawnz

Perhaps younger people don't realize it, but the world of Charlie Brown is a world of horrors. In later years, the focus of the strip shifted to Snoopy, but in its early years, the Peanuts comic strip focused on Charlie Brown, the blockhead who can't do anything right.

The world of Charlie Brown has been set to music from at least two sources - the people who created the stage play "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown," and the people who conceived the long-running series of television shows featuring the Peanuts characters. However, while both of these sets of music have been memorable, they don't really capture the essence of the life of Charlie Brown.

If Peanuts author Charles Schulz had just waited a couple of decades, the life of Charlie Brown would have received the appropriate muse.

This was initially realized by Dave Flores in 1986. A popular British band was visiting San Francisco, and Flores' poster for the appearance consisted of Charlie Brown, laying on the ground, repeating the word "Why?" over and over.

Some time later, this inspired graphic designer Lauren LoPrete, who created a Tumblr blog matching the Peanuts comic strip with the lyrics of this 1980s British band. The name of this blog is This Charming Charlie. Here's a sample entry:

Brilliant. And if you don't like it, what difference does it make?

(H/T Shawn Rossi)

Take one down, pass it around, stow it in the seat pocket in front of you (does .@avaberee know who Jim Bakker is?)

My latest "I was wrong" moment.

On Monday (California time), I posted Why I will never be a roadie for .@avaberee (watch out for the roos???) After some introductory stuff, the post got down to its premise:

Now Avaberee has not consulted me about their tour arrangements, but I'm guessing that there's a pretty good chance that they'll be driving from their hometown of Brisbane down to Melbourne for this final date.

And when discussing the length of the drive, I wrote:

Let's put it this way - if they decide to sing "100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" on the way down, they'll have to sing it many, many times.

Well, several hours ago, Avaberee posted this picture on their Facebook page. As you can see, it's a picture of an airplane wing, taken from an airplane.

Hopefully the kangaroos didn't storm the Melbourne runway.

Again, if you have driven or flown to Melbourne, the show is Saturday. Tickets are available here.

Why I will never be a roadie for .@avaberee (watch out for the roos???)

Somehow I never got around to mentioning this in the Empoprise-MU music blog proper, but I've been listening to Avaberee a lot lately. Avaberee is a female trio from Brisbane, Australia that I originally discovered via their a capella cover of a Justin Timberlake song.



They've also composed their own songs, some of which can be found on their YouTube page, their Facebook page, and on various other sources (they have a few songs on Spotify). And based on these successes, they are now on tour. (Because they're in the Southern Hemisphere, it's a winter tour.)

Now I have never been to Australia, but I do understand that (using words associated with another part of the world) it's a big country. Back when I was working on my MBA (before the members of Avaberee were born), I discovered that Australia's freeway system (at the time) was not as well developed as the United States. So if you're driving between Australia's major cities, it can take a long time. And I'm not even thinking about Perth, which is on the opposite side of the country from the other major cities.

Avaberee's tour has taken them to most of the major cities in the eastern part of Australia, including their hometown of Brisbane, Sydney, and Canberra. From their Facebook page, it appears that they are driving between these cities, rather than taking a plane. (They're still a young band, so they're not getting large enough crowds to justify a private plane.)

The band just finished its Canberra date this past weekend, and in a week, they'll be playing their last tour date - in Melbourne. Now Avaberee has not consulted me about their tour arrangements, but I'm guessing that there's a pretty good chance that they'll be driving from their hometown of Brisbane down to Melbourne for this final date.

If that's what they're doing, how long of a drive will it be?

Somewhere between 18 and 19 1/2 hours, depending upon the route.


View Larger Map

Let's put it this way - if they decide to sing "100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" on the way down, they'll have to sing it many, many times. (Twenty-eight, to be exact. No, not twenty-eight verses. Twenty-eight complete renditions of the entire song, or 2,800 verses.)

Of course, Google Maps can't tell you everything about a particular trip. To find out more, you need to contact real people, such as those who contribute to TripAdvisor. Although the thread that I found about the Brisbane to Melbourne drive dates from 2008, it's presumably still applicable today. One contributor noted the difference between the inland route and the coastal route.

I have done the drive twice now, last time was a few years ago. Our first time, we went through Sydney to catch up with some friends, so stopped overnight there and then the next day up along the Pacific Hwy. This was a long drive with too many stops and reasonably heavy traffic. On our second attempt, we took others advice and went the fastest and most direct route, via the Newell Hwy. I am trying to recall where we stopped overnight, I think it was Parkes. We had two drivers, so the driving load was shared but it is still a long time in the car....around 20-22 hours of driving time. The Newell is a lot quicker than other routes but be warned, it is long, flat and very boring.

We have something similar in California for travelers from Los Angeles to San Francisco. You can take the scenic but long U.S. Route 101, or you can take the inland, boring Interstate 5. But even if you're driving on the 101, you won't be spending TWENTY OR MORE HOURS driving up the coast.

Oh, and there are other hazards that you don't necessarily encounter in California. The contributor continued:

Road kill is a real eye opener as well, so be very careful driving this road at dawn or dusk times especially. WE actually clipped a kangaroo about 7am, one bright, sunny morning....very close call.

Yes, you read that right - you can hit KANGAROOS on the inland route. While highways in the United States have a number of hazards, kangaroos are not among them.

Another contributor reiterated the point:

When you consider the petrol cost, and accomodation cost it really is not worth it.

However, if you must do it then the easiest way is inland via the Newell HIghway, and as already mentioned it is long and boring. There are a lot of trucks that pass this way and a lot of road kill.

And another:

This is the road train route between Melbourne and Brisbane and they go that way for a reason. Just be aware that your travel will have to be during daylight hours once you get out west as the roos are a real problem. So leave after sun up and be at your destination well before the sun sets.

So this is why I will never volunteer to be a roadie for Avaberee. I mean, it sounds glamorous, and the women are fantastic singers and performers, but if their car hits a kangaroo, they're not going to be the ones to clean things up. No, they'd get the Yankee roadie to do it. And since they speak Australian, it would probably take me a while to figure out that they're asking me to remove a kangaroo carcass from the hood of the car. They'd be saying "bonnet" and "windscreen" and "bitumen" and stuff like that.

But I'll be "barracking for" Avaberee on the final date of their tour, and should you happen to be in Melbourne next weekend, they're at The Workers Club on Saturday the 17th.

Provided that the kangaroos let them pass.

It was my understanding that there would be no math

A pressing question - how long does it take to sing the song "A Hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall"?

Wolfram Alpha doesn't know. (What good is it, in that case?)

So I had to turn to Yahoo for the answer.

well at a rate a 105 words per minute and a tempo of 150, you should finish the song in a aproximitaly 38 minutes and 34 seconds

For simplicity of computation, let's round it to 45 minutes to account for tiredness.

So, in a three hour period, you could sing the song four times.

And in a twenty-one hour period, you could sing the song twenty-eight times.

Of course, I have assumed sobriety in these calculations. If the singers were actually imbibing while singing, the rate of song completion would decline dramatically over time.

Now you may be wondering why I am wondering how many times one could sing "100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" in a twenty-one hour period.

For the answer, stay tuned for a future post in the Empoprise-MU music blog. The post is scheduled to appear on Monday morning - well, Monday morning in the western United States. If you're somewhere else, it may appear on Monday afternoon, Monday evening, or perhaps even on Tuesday.

P.S. The title of the post really has nothing to do with music. I took it from here.

The Lowrider Band is at CAN'T SAY IT with another band

If you visit the web site of the Lowrider Band, you can find this story:

Since 1969, members of Lowrider Band have compiled a tapestry of quintessential songs and live performances so musically infectious that its moniker traces from Los Angeles to Mexico City and from London to Copenhagen. And the genius of this Southern California troupe is captured in the musical medley of Hispanic, African-American, Asian and mainstream cultures, resulting in monster compositions such as “Slippin into Darkness,” “Low Rider,” “9 to 5 (Ordinary Man),” “All Day Music” and many other chart-toppers.

Comprising four prolific, multi-platinum singer-songwriters, Howard Scott (guitar), Harold Brown (drums), Lee Oskar (harmonica) and B.B. Dickerson (bass), this dynamic team of accomplished musicians is guilty of dishing up many of the greatest tunes to permeate airwaves since the dawn of radio: “The Cisco Kid,” “Why Can’t We Be Friends,” “Spill the Wine” and “The World is a Ghetto” are a few more mega-hits from the band’s exhaustive discography....

Lowrider Band and staff are thrilled to announce that band members Howard Scott, Harold Brown, Lee Oskar and B.B. Dickerson have been nominated for induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for 2010!

If you visit the website of the band called War, you can find this story:

The year was 1969, and these 'kids' had the nerve to carry the name WAR at a time when peace was the slogan in an anti-Vietnam America. "Our mission was to spread a message of brotherhood and harmony," states one of WAR's founding members, singer/keyboardist Lonnie Jordan. "Our instruments and voices became our weapons of choice and the songs our ammunition. We spoke out against racism, hunger, gangs, crimes, and turf wars, as we embraced all people with hope and the spirit of brotherhood. It's just as apropos today"

And a little later on, the War web page includes this mention:

In 1979, B.B. Dickerson departed during recording sessions for WAR’s next album.

But the War website includes no mention of Scott, Brown, or Oskar. And the Lowrider Band website includes no mention of Jordan, nor does it mention the band called War.

John at Rock Roots explains the story:

It seems in` 1996 the band desired a change in management. In their attempt to separate from Jerry Goldstein they found themselves unable to retain the name War due to the fact it was a trademark owned by Goldstein and Far Out Productions. Consequently, the band adopted the name The Low Rider Band, which of course was a reference to one of their biggest hits. All except keyboardist Lonnie Jordan who opted to remain with Goldstein and put together a whole new band calling itself War.

And John clearly has an opinion on the matter:

Given that The Low Rider Band contains all the surviving members of the group that made all of the artistic and commercial achievements of War, while the present band named War contains only Lonnie Jordan and a bunch of other guys, I felt that to write about War required that I reference The Low Rider Band because with Scott, Dickerson, Oskar and Brown as members, The Low Rider Band essentially is War. The present band named War is pretty much just Lonnie Jordan's War tribute band.

Why can't we be friends?

Warr on Kraftwerk

If you've never visited Wilson & Alroy's Record Reviews, you should. The presence of the word "record" indicates that the site is focused toward older releases, although they review newer items also. But the site is truly marked by Wilson & Alroy's high standards.

Very high standards.

Extremely high standards.

I'll give you an example. I personally think it's a travesty that Depeche Mode are not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but I think it an even worse tragedy that Kraftwerk has not been so honored. Wilson does not share my views on Kraftwerk, as is evident from his review of Devo's second full-length album, Duty Now for the Future. Note: Wilson hated that particular album.

I don't think the damage Kraftwerk did to our culture has been adequately assessed. Their mid-70s robotic, primitive synth instrumentals made a huge impression on music cognoscenti, essentially undoing all that Stevie Wonder had done to make synthesizers musically expressive. The Kraftwerk influence basically ruins Devo's sophomore effort, which is loaded with repetitive, mechanical keyboard lines...

For a taste of a later review, here's Wilson's review of a Drake album.

After three decades of being institutionalized, your tendencies will be...well...

Courtesy Brian Haslip.

As long as you love me - the Edward Snowden/Justin Bieber's "Wild Kidz" mashup

Earlier today, I issued a challenge:

Mash up Edward Snowden and the Wild Kidz (Justin Bieber's bucket-peeing, Clinton-hating gang).

If you haven't kept up with the news, or if you read this long after the events in question were forgotten, Edward Snowden is the serious former NSA agent who revealed secrets of (possibly un-Constitutional) spying by the US government before fleeing the country; he is currently in the international section of a Moscow airport. Justin Bieber is a young singer, who hangs with a gang of people who call themselves the "Wild Kidz."

So here's my mashup. If others contribute, their contributions will be found here.








It was a bright, sunny morning at Simón Bolívar International Airport. Despite its distance from Caracas, a crowd of tens of thousands had arrived at the airport to meet the historic flight from Havana.

To many of the Venezuelans at the airport, the arrival of the flight was a source of national pride, and a true indicator of the fact that Venezuela was its own nation, capable of making its own decisions, and not subject to the whims of its rich foreign neighbors.

To many of the U.S.-based press at the airport, the arrival of the flight was a meal ticket. News networks, blogging empires, and newspapers all wanted to be present to record this flight, and the arrival of its famous passenger.

Rather than proceeding to the gate, the plane stopped in the middle of the runway. A podium had been set up on the runway; within a few minutes, President Maduro would make a speech from that podium, welcoming the distinguished guest to the country. The podium was surrounded by some metal chairs, a few tables, and a trash can. None of the dignitaries had yet arrived; the only person by the podium was a border control officer, responsible for performing a (ceremonial) inspection of the arriving passenger's papers.

In Tattoo-like fashion, the crowd began yelling, "The plane! The plane!" Sure enough, an airplane landed on the runway, and taxied toward the podium, stopping 50 meters away.

The door opened, and a man appeared at the door, blinking into the sunlight. The man, who was instantly recognizable to the crowd at the airport, blinked in the sunlight, then started to walk down the steps.

But he was not alone.

Anderson Cooper, in a studio in Atlanta, Georgia, couldn't believe his eyes. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that the person behind Edward Snowden is Julian Assange, the famous head of Wikileaks. We had believed that he was still holed up in the Ecuador embassy in London, but it appears that he was on this plane, and is now deplaning in Venezuela."

Similar chatter was heard on the other networks, and in the crowd. The British secret agents who had infiltrated the crowd were dumbfounded.

With all of the attention directed at Snowden and Assange, no one noticed the other four men who disembarked from the plane, and no one noticed the fact that all six men were wearing identical hoodies and jeans.

Near the podium, the six began a conversation that only the entire world could hear.

"DUUUUUDE! We made it!"

"Party in the Caribbean, dude!"

"Uh, just a minute." Edward Snowden, who was either the face of whistle-blowing of the face of treason, depending upon your point of view, currently had a pained look on his face. He stood there for a second, and then walked toward the trash can. As the world watched, Snowden unzipped his pants and relieved himself.

The other five laughed uncontrollably.

"DUDE!" said Assange. "You're peeing!"

One of the other guys yelled a question. "Who are we?" he asked.

The other five responded, "We're the Leaky Kidz!"

Some of the network cameras had already picked up the "Leaky Kidz" emblem on the back of the six mens' hoodies.

As everyone laughed, Julian walked up to the podium, which was adorned with a picture of Venezuelan President Maduro - the man who would provide asylum to Snowden, and the man who would provide Assange himself with safe passage to Ecuador.

Assange threw his Red Bull at the picture. "F@@k Maduro!" he yelled.

Why Pandora is self-interested

If someone loudly claims that they're looking out for your interests, there's a good chance that they're actually looking out for their own interests.

Remember when poor Pandora was about to die because of the terrible machinations of evil corporate radio? Back in 2008, many people (including myself) wrote to Congress after Pandora issued a call to action:

September 26, 2008
CONGRESSIONAL EMERGENCY!!!

Listeners we need your help... NOW!

After a yearlong negotiation, Pandora, artists and record companies are finally optimistic about reaching an agreement on royalties that would save Pandora and Internet radio. But just as we've gotten close, large traditional broadcast radio companies have launched a covert lobbying campaign to sabotage our progress.

Yesterday, Congressman Jay Inslee, and several co-sponsors, introduced legislation to give us the extra time we need but the National Association of Broadcasters (NAB), which represents radio broadcasters such as Clear Channel, has begun intensively pressuring lawmakers to kill the bill. We have just a day or two to keep this from collapsing.

This is a blatant attempt by large radio companies to suffocate the webcasting industry that is just beginning to offer an alternative to their monopoly of the airwaves.

Frankly, I never did bother to find out if the bill passed both Houses, but Pandora has not collapsed so I guess everything worked out OK.

Except that there are now new allegations of evil company machinations - and this time Pandora is being cast in the black hat. The surviving members of Pink Floyd wrote an editorial:

Great music can inspire deep emotions, and businesses have long sought to harness this power in order to make money. Nothing wrong with that – everyone deserves to make a living – but too often it leads to less than scrupulous behavior. The latest example is how Pandora is pushing for a special law in Congress to slash musicians' royalties – and the tactics they are using to trick artists into supporting this unfair cut in pay....

Last year, we joined over 130 other bands and artists to oppose Pandora's campaign to cut the royalties paid for digital radio spins. Widespread artist opposition stopped them last year, so this year Pandora is trying to enlist artists support for their next attempt at passing this unfair legislation.

Musicians around the country are getting emails from Pandora – even directly from the company's charismatic founder Tim Westergren – asking them to "be part of a conversation" about the music business and sign a simple "letter of support" for Internet radio.

Sounds good. Who wouldn't want to be "part of a conversation"? Who doesn't support Internet radio? What scrooge would refuse to sign such a positive, pro-music statement?

Of course, this letter doesn't say anything about an 85% artist pay cut. That would probably turn off most musicians who might consider signing on.

And it's not just Pink Floyd that is displeased with Pandora. David Lowery (of Camper Van Beethoven and Cracker fame) has compared his royalty statements from various sources. The figures that Lowery provided for comparison include $1,522 from terrestrial AM/FM radio, $181 from Sirius XM...and less than $17 from Pandora. Lowery is not pleased:

Soon you will be hearing from Pandora how they need Congress to change the way royalties are calculated so that they can pay much much less to songwriters and performers. For you civilians webcasting rates are “compulsory” rates. They are set by the government (crazy, right?). Further since they are compulsory royalties, artists can not “opt out” of a service like Pandora even if they think Pandora doesn’t pay them enough. The majority of songwriters have their rates set by the government, too, in the form of the ASCAP and BMI rate courts–a single judge gets to decide the fate of songwriters (technically not a “compulsory” but may as well be). This is already a government mandated subsidy from songwriters and artists to Silicon Valley. Pandora wants to make it even worse. (Yet another reason the government needs to get out of the business of setting webcasting rates and let the market sort it out.)

Another artist, Blake Morgan, noted that both musicians and music companies were united against Pandora' efforts:

"You know when you've done something when music labels and artists are hand in hand agreeing on something," Morgan told HuffPost.

On Slim Whitman, 192x? - 2013

I saw several concerts during my years in Portland, Oregon, including concerts by Devo, Jan & Dean, Willie & Kris, and Gregor Samsa. But my favorite concert (sorry, Josh Rosen) was probably the Slim Whitman concert that I saw.

This was during Whitman's infomercial-fueled (and Johnny Carson-fueled) resurgence in popularity, when his name became known to those of us who weren't around during his first bit of popularity in the 1950s. When he appeared in Portland, Slim appeared along with his son Byron, and there was a bit of comedy regarding Byron's attractiveness to the ladies. (Well, Byron was younger than Slim.)

Afterwards, Slim stayed and signed autographs, because that's what you're supposed to do.

A class act in every way.

Slim passed away - for real this time - earlier today. He will be missed, but he will be remembered.

And yes, I still think that Brian Eno is his son, but that theory is for another time.

And no, he never did cover Pink Floyd.

And no, he never formed a supergroup with Martin Gore and Ralph Tomaselli.

Now we have Dr. Merle Haggard and Dr. Buck Owens

In my business blog, I recently posted a list of several people who have received honorary degrees from the University of Southern California, including Dr. Steven Ballmer.

Well, California State University Bakersfield just awarded two honorary degrees.

Cal State Bakersfield presented the Oildale-bred singer-songwriter [Haggard] with the university’s highest honor Friday at commencement ceremonies for the School of Arts and Humanities. Joining him posthumously was his equally famous contemporary, Buck Owens, who was represented by his eldest son.

However much of an education Haggard's songs have provided to us, apparently the lure of education was not great for Haggard himself. Even today.

Then, while the audience was distracted by the imminent recitation of the graduates’ names, Haggard slipped out the back, just as he had done so many times before, so many years ago.

The piece that I never submitted to MungBeing Magazine

When Mark Givens announced that the theme for issue 50 of MungBeing Magazine was "Names," I drafted a couple of written pieces having to do with names, and then promptly forgot about them and never submitted them. When issue 50 was actually released, I had even forgotten about the items on which I had worked.

Until Saturday, when I ran across an email to myself dated May 2.

I really need to check my empoprises gmail account more often. (And I had even starred the thing.)

Well, I need to use everything up at some point, so I figured that I'd post one of the items here. (I never really worked on the second item, and all that I have there is some material that someone else wrote about the name letter effect. You can read that material at http://www.psych-it.com.au/Psychlopedia/article.asp?id=99.)

So, without further ado, here is "Styx and Stones."

Wait, I take that back - here's one further ado. Whenever I write something for MungBeing, I try to make some type of reference to every other piece that I have contributed to MungBeing. This explains, for example, the reference to Martin Van Buren.

OK, NOW without further ado...




If you were to run into Smiley on the street – and he was often on the street – you would just think of him as a ne’er-do-well who blurted out opinions – the shorter the better. But those who knew him better realized that he had, back in the day, been a marketing genius who was responsible for shaping much of the popular culture of the Western world.

He received his nickname “Smiley” when he spent several years in London in the early 1960s – a city where, like all other cities, he had a knack for being in the right place at the right time.

One night he was sitting in a small club and began talking to the bass player in the club’s band.

“What’s your band’s name?” asked Smiley.

“The Cliftons,” responded the bassist without real conviction. He was concentrating on the girls who were sitting a few tables away.

“And what’s YOUR name?” asked Smiley, not noticing that the bassist was distracted.

“Perks” was the response.

“That’s a stupid name,” said Smiley, who walked out. Perks then moved to the table with the girls, but Smiley’s comment obviously remained lodged in his mind.

Several years later, Smiley had drifted back to the United States and found himself at a parish hall in suburban Chicago, listening to another small band argue over its name. The band had just signed to the small label Wooden Nickel Records, and had decided that the current name, TW4, just wouldn’t cut it for successful recording artists like themselves.

One of the band members piped up. “Hey, why don’t we call ourselves Schlock?”

Smiley, unbidden, piped up from his chair. “That’s a stupid name!” he yelled.

The band members reluctantly agreed and sat in thought until another tossed in a suggestion. “Martin Van Buren?”

“Nah,” said Smiley, piping up again. “They’ll think that the lead singer is named Martin Van Buren. Too confusing.”

“I know! I know!” said another band member. “Mister Roboto!”

Smiley stared at him, shaking his head.

The first band member, angered by the interjections of this stranger, spoke up anyway. “How about Desperation Squad?”

“Now that’s the most idiotic name I’ve heard yet!” shouted Smiley. “Your band is dead in the water! I’m going back over the river and getting as far away from you as possible!”

Smiley was surprised a few years later when the band became extremely famous.

On Enya's "Covers" album

We always forget that the public image of a person is just a small aspect of the entire person.

Until this past weekend, I thought of Enya as some ethereal person who took nice quiet bubble baths while reading some of Tolkien's lesser-known works. This image was suggested by her music, and what was known about her, including her single name. Heck, I normally don't know what her real name is.

So when I found her "Covers" album on Spotify last weekend, the choice of titles seemed intriguing. "Big Balls" by AC/DC? "I Love Rock 'n' Roll" by Joan Jett (and others)? As I looked at the titles, I thought to myself - how is Enya going to do those songs in her Irish syntho-folk style?

Well, this may be a spoiler if you haven't heard the songs yet, but the answer is - she doesn't. She covers these songs in the original style, which is a bit - unsettling.

And I don't know if was being intentionally ironic or not when she covered Devo's "Beautiful World." I found an interview by Enya about the album, and here's what the Irishwoman said when asked about that song:

Well, I guess I've always been a spudgirl, so I knew that I had to include that one in my album.

Well, this has caused me to re-evaluate everything that I ever knew about Enya. If you want to have your mind literally blown, be sure to read the interview yourself.

And if you're not on Spotify and would like to hear the cover-loving Enya, her version of "Smoke on the Water" can be found here.

What's your Spice Girl name?

I need to know so that if we're on stage together, I can address you properly.

Mine, by the way, is Dimensiony Spice.

And if you thought buffalo in hovercraft were an inspired idea...

If you have followed my activities in the Empoprises Public Community on Google+, you know that I regard Depeche Mode's "Useless" video as one of the greatest works of art in the 20th century. (Take that, Orson Welles.) Surprisingly enough, I haven't officially blogged about the video in years. My last such post was this 2009 post, where, after watching this video, and U2's "One," and Frank Black's "Los Angeles," I was inspired.

Then, and only then, did I get an idea. Why not reshoot the "Useless" video, but instead of using the animal that is not a cow, why not use a buffalo? In a hovercraft?

But I am now compelled to confess that my idea truly is no good.

Because, you see, I have discovered an even better reshoot of the "Useless" video. Here it is:



For you young whippersnappers, I should explain that the two cartoon characters are Bob and Doug McKenzie, who had their greatest popularity in the 1980s, before one of the actors, Rick Moranis, proceeded to star in "Spaceballs," the greatest long-form movie of the 20th century. (Yeah, Orson Welles still loses out.)

And no, I haven't blogged about Bob and Doug before, but I did mention Father McKenzie in this post, so I guess it's kind of close.

Mr. Baldwin, things are falling apart (Led Zeppelin, "I'm Gonna Crawl")

It must have been a tough time to be John Baldwin.

Baldwin, better known to most of us as John Paul Jones, was the keyboard/bass player in Led Zeppelin. And things were falling apart all around him.

The band had been around for the better part of a decade, and some thought that its time had passed. The band had enough talent to stage a comeback, but it wasn't going to be easy. Lead guitarist Jimmy Page, for example, was mentally dazed and confused due to some pharmacological vices.



(source: Rob Michael)

But Page wasn't the only band member who was distracted. Robert Plant was still grieving over the death of his son. And John Bonham had his own substance abuse problems - problems that would eventually kill him.

So what is a de facto music director of Led Zeppelin to do? Easy, according to this album reviewer.

And after Karac Plant's tragic death in 1977 he basically took charge of Zeppelin, and wrote the music for 7 of the 10 songs recorded in Sweden in 1978. (Three other songs, "Ozone Baby", "Darlene", and "Wearing and Tearing" appeared on 1982's album "Coda".) He and Robert Plant took control of the band and wrote and recorded their parts during the day, while Jimmy Page and John Bonham both started to succumb to their addictions and would show up at night to record their parts. The division of the mighty Led Zeppelin was beginning to fail.


And the two-shift recording process resulted in a variety of songs of different genres. But in one of the songs, Jones got behind the keyboard, played a ditty straight from Walton's Mountain...and then let the blues come out.

And that, my friends, is "I'm Gonna Crawl."



Many people regret a band's so-called decline after hitting the toppermost of the poppermost. But some of my favorite albums are from bands whose day as supposedly passed - Devo's "Total Devo," Duran Duran's "Notorious," and Led Zeppelin's "In Through the Out Door" - the album that turned out to be the last one released while all four band members were still alive. And the ending song, "I'm Gonna Crawl," has been discussed repeatedly. Here's a review from someone who was probably in elementary school when the song was originally released:

While I truly do like the vast majority of Led Zeppelin’s recordings, even the posthumously, and not their best, released “Coda,” my favorites are when they cover old blues songs....[I]t is one of their original blues songs that I can almost listen to repeatedly, called “I’m Gonna Crawl,” off the “In Through the Out Door” album which I think is masterful in the conveyance of the emotion that a great blues song should have, through the tone and tenor, the sound of the guitar, meshed with the vocals.

Oh, and one more review can be found in the comments here:

I used to work as an exotic dancer for many years, and I'll tell you what...when I walked on that stage with that song for my opening set I never felt more powerful or sexy than anything I've ever experienced in my life. A true masterpiece of emotion.

I don't know what Karac Plant would have thought, but I'm sure his dad is proud.

Breathtakingly beautiful...lottery? John and Michelle Phillips' lyrics used to sway 2/3 of Californians who hate lotteries

I am really divided over this one.

Start with a 1960s pop song, performed by a quartet, about someone who is missing the state of California. Excellent lyrics, nice instrumentation (especially the instrumental break).

Now, a few decades later, re-record it in dramatic form, with an understated piano and choir. An absolutely beautiful rendition.

Then add a saying to deepen the drama - "Believe in Something Bigger." The whole mood is beautiful - and moving.

Oh, and one more thing - it's for a lottery.



In my case, when I first heard a Powerball commercial on TV, I thought, "All this for a lottery?" But my negative reaction was rather mild. R.J. Moeller, in a post entitled "California Schemin'," expressed profound displeasure at the commercial:

The state of California is currently more than $20 billion in debt for making promises it could not keep and spending money it did not have. It has an unemployment rate of over 9 percent. It taxes its citizens at higher rates than any place outside of Western Europe....

After much more of the same (see the post), Moeller then says:

But who needs balanced budgets, small business growth, innovative entrepreneurial activity, or the rule of law when you have . . . the lottery! Huzzah!

And when Moeller saw the "Believe in something bigger" slogan, he hit the roof.

If you need something to believe in, what’s bigger than the size and scope of California’s debt and deficits? I mean, besides the amount of cultural and moral decay encouraged by something like a state-funded gambling Ponzi scheme that specifically markets its “games” to low-income citizens (who are the same folks receiving the lion’s share of the entitlements causing the aforementioned debt and deficits)?

I think it's fair to say that Moeller wouldn't have reacted so strongly if the state had just run a huckster-ish "Buy Powerball tickets!" commercial. But the suggestion - vividly made via the music - that Powerball was a religious, self-affirming experience caused Moeller's extremely negative reaction. And he was just getting started:

I thought it was regrettably appropriate that the good folks at the Lotto offices chose a song –”California Dreamin’”– that was written by a man (the late John Phillips) who, apart from being a drug addict, engaged in an incestuous relationship with his daughter (Mackenzie Phillips) for decades.

But meanwhile, in the ad agency world where suicide is "edgy," the ad is being lauded.

This is the new California Lottery campaign from ad agency David & Goliath. Powerball is coming to California with the tagline “Believe in Something Bigger.” The white lottery balls fall like snow. with The Mamas and the Papas’ California Dreaming playing in the background.

It’s all very inspirational!

According to MediaPost, Powerball and David & Goliath had to pull out all the stops for this campaign.

With only about a third of consumers saying they had a positive feeling when it came to the California Lottery, the brand and its agency, David&Goliath, felt they needed to move beyond the typical lottery advertising of wealth and riches.

“We wanted a different, honest and optimistic approach to launching Powerball -- one that inspires people to believe in possibilities,” David Angelo, the agency’s founder and chief creative officer, tells Marketing Daily. “[Optimism] is what the Powerball brand stands for, and California is a brand that’s about optimism as well.”

OK, I'll admit that the ad is different. And the ad is definitely optimistic; the chance of winning the grand prize is 1 in 175 million. But is it honest - or is it manipulative?

Some of you may be wondering why I'm posting this in my music blog, rather than in my business blog. I'm writing this in the music blog because the music behind the ad is an essential part of the campaign. Music is an important part of many advertising campaigns. If you don't believe me, watch the video above with the sound off. When all you see are a bunch of crazed people in slow-motion with plastic balls all over the place, it's not that compelling, is it?

The song was co-authored by John and Michelle Phillips during a time when they were living in New York, far from California. To my knowledge, Michelle Phillips has made no public statement about the California Lottery campaign.

Papa John Phillips, for all his faults, had no idea that THIS was going to happen.

Let me be an approximation of reality

After last night's Spotify listening session, I can't get Fedde Le Grand's song "Let Me Be Real" out of my head.



This morning, it occurred to me that there are some parallels - some - between the song and some of the discussions that Loren Feldman and Larry Rosenthal have been having of late. (See Loren's April 15 post for one such example.)

Of course, the fact that this song was brought to my attention via a music-sharing service in which I was influenced by people that I have never met - well, that's the way it goes.

Kind of the musical version of the map approximations that Nate Wessel has discussed in the past. (See my thoughts.)

And as long as we're talking about the differences between virtual reality and reality, here's what Phil Baumann wrote.

Not that Baumann's statements explicitly have much to do with music, but they do.

A minor problem at the Alberta Rose Theatre (UPDATE: RESOLVED)

[APRIL 25: SEE UPDATE AT END OF POST.]

I still have friends in Portland, Oregon, and one of them alerted me to an interesting pricing strategy for this event at the Alberta Rose Theatre in Portland. The event features Tony Furtado, Kenny White, and DEAN!

My friend, his wife, and their son (who happens to be a musician himself) were planning on going - until they found out the pricing policy for this event.

$15 General Admission | $17 for Minors (under 21)

Most venues charge 18, 19, and 20 year olds the same price that 21 year olds are charged. Minors under 18 will often pay the same price, or perhaps even get a discounted price.

It's rare to see minors charged a HIGHER price than adults, but the definition of minors ("under 21") gives a hint about why this is happening. [CORRECTION 12:30] Via email, the Alberta Rose statedMy friend called the Alberta Rose, and was told that a higher rate was charged for people under 21 because they don't buy alcohol. The venue serves both alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks, and you'd think that they could make up the difference in price by charging high prices for the non-alcoholic drinks. This would also allow them to recoup their money from adults who don't drink.

But apparently the Alberta Rose has settled on a different policy - one that angered my Portland friend and made him decide NOT to take his family to the venue.

I couldn't find any other Alberta Rose events that had this two-tier pricing strategy, so perhaps this is an experiment. If so, it may have already gone awry.

[APRIL 25 UPDATE]

My friend has just posted the following:

"I am pleased to report that this situation has been resolved. There was apparently some miscommunication between the agent and the venue. The price is now the same for minors and adults alike. We are looking forward to going to the show!"

When Zoominfo gets confused, you can inhabit a song

Not everything that you see on the Internet is true.

I was performing a vanity search on people that have the name "John Bredehoft," and I ran across a record in Zoominfo that included the following information:



Now some of you have already figured out where this is going. Initially, I didn't. There have been instances in which people with the name "John Bredehoft" have been confused with me, so I initially figured that some poor guy in Kansas had his information scrambled with my own.

Initially I missed the fact that this guy in Kansas had the same middle initial that I do.

And initially I missed the fact that the Zoominfo page included a number of references to this very Empoprise-MU music blog, dating back to 2009.

Eventually I put two and two together...and nearly burst out laughing.

No, there is no person in Kansas with the name John E. Bredehoft.

If you haven't figured it out yet - and as I said, it took me a while to figure out - take a look at this Empoprise-MU post from 2009. Zoominfo somehow took that post and performed a gross misinterpretation of it. I do admit that I know Glen Campbell, but not the one who made that song famous. (Although the Glen Campbell that I know does play a mean ukelele.)

It could have been worse. I've referenced many other songs in this blog, including White Punks on Dope and Anarchy in the UK.

Bringing it all black home

I have scheduled a post about trash collectors to appear in my Empoprise-BI business blog in the near future, and it reminded me of a vaguely-remembered incident in which someone went through Bob Dylan's trash. That someone was Alan J. Weberman, self-styled Dylanologist, whose exploits were covered in a Rolling Stone article.

But while reviewing the article, I ran across something that was forward and visionary. It appears that Weberman, from his extensive study of Dylan, discerned a great truth that would affect 21st century music:

Ann," Alan howled on a sweltering Sunday morning last August. "Ann . . . Ann. Today is Sunday!"

Ann Duncan, standing in the middle of the Archives, was working at a painting of Bob Dylan. Ann is an artist and is working on a series called "Great Moments in Rock." Her first subject is a portrait of Bob, shooting himself into his Current Bag. "Mmnn," she answered. ". . . I know . . . yeah . . . yesterday was Saturday!"

Disney music, pain, and suffering

Disney World and Disneyland attractions often incorporate musical themes. These can be fine if you are only exposed to them for a few minutes. For me personally, one exception is the "Electrical Parade" music - since the parade can take a half hour to pass by, the music seems to go on forever.

But what if you are stuck on an attraction for more than the usual few minutes?

And what if that attraction is "It's a Small World"?

A lawsuit could result from this, and the music could be part of the lawsuit:

Disneyland has paid disabled man Jose Martinez $8,000. Their crime? Not evacuating him from It’s A Small World after the ride broke down in 2009, leaving him listening to that song for half an hour....

Geffen [Jose Martinez's lawyer] said that half of the award was for pain and suffering, while the other half is for violating disability laws.

There have been a number of legal cases in which the major media companies, including Disney, have tried to get money from people who listen to their music (or watch their movies). This is the first case that I know of in which Disney had to pay someone else to listen to Disney music.

It's a world of suffering, a world of pain,
But the Mouse has promised not to do it again...

Glen Campbell, 1963

I recently re-read my 2009 and 2008 posts about musician Glen Campbell (not to be confused with others who have the same name). The earlier post opens with the following words:

Glen Campbell has had a varied career.

When you've been involved in acts ranging from the Champs to the Beach Boys, and when you've covered Green Day as a small part of your successful recording career, it's difficult to pigeonhole you into those categories that some in the music industry like. But Campbell is no pigeon.

Part of the difficulty in pigeonholing Campbell is that he emerged in an era before the pigeons were caged. It's hard to separate between country and rock when the stars of the time were equally comfortable in either genre. When the Beatles issued their most famous single ("Yesterday"), a Buck Owens song was on the other side ("Act Naturally").

A couple of years before "Yesterday," Glen Campbell appeared as a backing guitarist and singer on a TV show called "Star Route," accompanying George Morgan on the song "My Window Faces the South."

During the instrumental break, the band members take turns on various solos. Campbell's guitar solo comes last, and he treats the audience to a rockabilly-country lick festival.

But a musician has to eat, so one year later, Campbell adopted a Beatles haircut and appeared on Shindig.

Ignore the screaming girls and the haircut for a moment. Campbell's music doesn't sound all that different from his appearance with George Morgan.

I was unable to find a video of Campbell's touring days with the Beach Boys, but when you think about it, that music was similar in sound also - except perhaps for the vocal arrangements, which of course were not unique to surf and car music.

As to why Campbell's hit records from later in the decade were more countrypolitan than rockabilly...as I said, a musician has to eat. Do you think a rockabilly song would go over in 1969?

Mindy McCready, 1975 - 2013

As I've previously noted, in the 1990s I joined a Yahoo! group that talked about country singer Mindy McCready. During the 1990s, McCready news focused on music. During the next decade, it seemed to focus on everything EXCEPT music.

I last wrote about McCready in October 2008, when she was scheduled to serve a jail sentence on a drug conviction. This post followed an April 2008 post that included the following:

But by the time I started to write the Ontario Empoblog, the story began to unravel. By August 10, 2004, I was blogging about her arrest for OxyContin prescription fraud. I followed up on August 16 and August 29, and subsequently (February 4, 2005) reported on McCready's plea and community service.

By May 6, 2005, McCready had been arrested again, and charged with drunken driving.

Then the story started to get weird.

You may recall that April 2008 was the time that McCready's relationship with Roger Clemens hit the news. Clemens denied it. (Of course, Clemens has denied a bunch of stuff.)

After October 2008, I hadn't blogged about McCready any more. I hadn't heard about her late 2008 suicide attempt, although I recall reading about the whole custody issue with her son in 2011. But I hadn't been paying attention to the McCready news over the last month.

That's when the story started to get weird. Taste of Country:

[I]n January...her boyfriend and the father to her youngest son was found dead at a home the couple shared in Arkansas. Initially reported as a suicide, officials later suggested they weren’t sure about the cause of his death and would wait until autopsy reports were returned.

McCready tearfully denied any involvement in David Wilson’s death during a ‘Today’ show appearance on Jan. 29. Ex-husband Billy McKnight soon filed several motions with regards to his son with McCready, 6-year-old Zander. The singer entered a treatment facility and had her two children taken from her, but was released a short time later.

Now reports are coming out that McCready is dead of a gunshot wound. The current assumption is that it was self-inflicted.

When I first heard about this on Google+, there was a discussion about whether Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab show was inflicting pressure on the people who appeared on it. The thread mentioned a number of Celebrity Rehab people who are dead today.

Mark Smith (who started the thread) offered the following comment:

I don't blame the show for their deaths by any means, but I do blame the show for exploiting their addictions for ratinigs. It's sad but people love to tune in to see a train wreck, and MTV finds people close to the edge to pay for them to attend their "Celebrity Rehab" shows.

Sadly, I suspect that McCready would be dead today even if Dr. Drew had never ventured beyond KROQ radio. The death of a loved one via presumed suicide can put all sorts of pressures on you, especially if you're fragile to begin with.

It's hard to recall, but at one time it was all about the music.

Budokan

If you say the word "Budokan" to an American of a particular age, a particular image is conveyed.

To many middle-aged Americans, "Budokan" conveys images and sounds of Cheap Trick, or perhaps of Bob Dylan, or perhaps (for older folk) of the Beatles, the first rock artists to perform at this particular Japanese venue.

But Budokan (actually, "Nippon Budokan") was not originally designed as a place for real guitar heroes to hang out. It was initially built for the 1964 Summer Olympics to function as a martial arts hall. But when you have a venue that holds over 14,000 people, you end up finding other uses for it, ranging from martial arts to professional wrestling to all sorts of musical acts (the stage at Budokan has not only held the Beatles, Cheap Trick, and Bob Dylan, but also Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber).

More information here.

F--- tha Police...and Sting, too

I was listening to the Police's "Walking on the Moon" on Spotify, and it reminded me about something I had read a few days previously. Someone had published a rant about Sting, and the rant continued to complain about Sting's former band, the Police.

I couldn't find that particular rant, but there are enough rants about the Police if you look around. Check this one:

"Packed like lemmings"? A very close second in badness, from the same song, is the line "Every single meeting with his so-called superior is a humiliating kick in the crotch." Bad, bad, bad. But oh, so earnest. And then to couple these first-draft images of suburban misery with scenes from a mysterious "dark Scottish lake" just makes it worse.

The author (not of the lyrics), rain_rain, said more in the comments to the post:

The closest thing to punk about the Police was their hair, and even that was clearly (you should excuse the expression) a put-on. They were a classic pop band, only occasionally raging vaguely and reflexively against some machine or other because it was the thing to do, and hey, man, isn't that long commute soul-killing? Da doo doo doo was really more their strength.

But Grant Miller Media adds other complaints:

The Police jumped on the late 1970s punk bandwagon even though each member was an accomplished musician and came from a decidedly non-punk background. Sting was a bassist in a jazz band. Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland were in various prog-rock outfits....

People who write songs about teachers that have affairs with teenage girls are creepy....

When the Police were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame, they performed "Every Breath You Take" with Steven Tyler, Gwen Stefani and John Mayer.

If you like those, go here. There are 101 listed reasons to hate Sting.

Why do I like many of the worst songs of all time?

I had occasion to mention the Doctor Orange song "Taco Taco Taco" on Facebook, which led me to a very long message board thread in which people named the worst songs of all time.

The thread is a VERY long thread - I've only read through a small portion of it - but as I looked at the suggestions, it became very apparent that the definition of "worst song" is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I love "Taco Taco Taco," the third song mentioned in the thread.

Here are some other "worst songs" that were mentioned that I actually like - or at least do not dislike:

• "Muskrat Love" by the Captain & Tennille - I think the synth effects are cute, not atrocious.
• "Fly" by Sugar Ray - I think it's a fun song.
• "We Are Family" by Sister Sledge - although even I will admit it was overplayed at sporting events for a while.
• "Disco Duck" by Rick Dees - if you subtract everything you know about Dees, and if you listen to the song in the context of the times in which it was recorded, it's not bad. But then again, I liked "Peanut Prance" (Dees' impersonation of Jimmy Carter).
• "Sugar Sugar" by the Archies - my favorite song at the age of 7, and the soul stylings at the end stand up today. Soul stylings?
• "Blue" by Eiffel 65 - but then again (again), I like "Europop."
• Staying on the European continent, "Waterloo" by Abba - some songs were better than others, but their Eurovision hit was one of their better ones.
• "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" by Guns 'n' Roses - no, it's definitely not Dylan, but I think it's a great reworking.
• "Emotional Rescue" by the Rolling Stones - I can see why some would hate it, but just think of it as a comedy track and you'll be fine. That's what I do with anything recorded by Pet Shop Boys.
• "Sex" by Berlin - but I do likes me some synthetica, especially when live guitar is mixed in.

I'm sure that at least one of those songs completely offended and horrified you. You're welcome.

I do, however, agree with the commenters on one thing - Whitney Houston's version of "I Will Always Love You" is far inferior to the original. I like much of Houston's work, but her cover version has none of the subtlety of Parton's version. Houston's take is as subtle as Spinal Tap's famous amplifier that goes to 11.

I cannot judge one particular entry, because I have never heard it - and, most likely, you've never heard it either.

A few months back [in 2005], I heard a singer perform one of her own compositions at an open mic event in Camden in north London. A composition she'd written on the bus to the pub. About writing a song on the bus to the pub where she would sing it. Opinion was strongly divided amongst the listeners as to whether she was merely a spoof act or whether she was blithely unaware of how bad she was. I've since heard that the management took the latter view and has banned her from ever appearing again, even on similar occasions, on the grounds that she was so terrible.

OK, we know the last time, but when was the first time?

Take a listen to the song in this video:

Now some of my real young readers are saying, "So?"

Some of my slightly older readers are wondering why I'd post an instrumental version of a Verve song with a weird part in the middle.

Then I have some readers - those who know who Andrew "Loog" Oldham is - who realize that this is the former Rolling Stones producer's instrumental version of the Stones song "The Last Time." A song that the Verve appropriated for "Bittersweet Symphony," resulting in a lot of bittersweet court actions.

So the wonderfully pure Oldham was thwarted by the evil copycat Verve, right?

Well, when you think about it, Oldham's version itself obviously isn't original, since it is a rearrangement of the original Rolling Stones song "The Last Time." Yes, presumably Mick and Keith got the proper songwriting credit, but Oldham wouldn't have been able to take his orchestra flights of fancy if the Stones hadn't written the original song in the first place.

So now we get to the Stones themselves. And perhaps you'd better sit down while I tell you this.

SOME BRITISH ROCK BANDS HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO RIP OFF OTHER BANDS.

Now I know that this is a complete shock to some of you, but you had to learn the truth sooner or later. And in this particular case, Who Sampled cites a Staple Singers song "This Will Be The Last Time" and claims that it is a source for the subsequent Stones track.

Judge for yourself.

There's certainly a similarity between the chorus of this song and the chorus of the Stones track. But as the YouTube poster notes:

The Rolling Stones have been accused of ripping this off, and of course they did, but if they owe anyone it is really the arranger Shirley Joiner. The song itself is traditional.

And a commenter noted the following:

The Stones took from this to make the Last Time, after which Andrew Oldham made a symphonic version of it. Then in 1997, the Verve decided to sample the symphonic version of the Last Time in order to make Bittersweet Symphony. And in turn, Jason Derulo sample Bittersweet Symphony in order to make Ridin' Solo. Good music, what happened to you?

At least Derulo isn't a dangerous pedestrian.

Storm, part two (Phildel's "Storm Song")

In my previous post, I noted that the absence of any mention of music in the woman's 2005 interview was unusual. Over the next few years, the woman's love for music would manifest itself in a very big way.

StevoMusicMan:

[W]ay back in 2008 I first encountered [her] sound checking in a Soho venue playing a track entitled ‘Ghost’, it totally mesmerised me.

And Stevo wasn't the only person who was mesmerized. In the course of his interview with the woman, he noted this:

You’ve been very lucky in having not one track but two used for commercials ‘Piano B’ for Expedia and more recently ‘The Kiss’, used by both Marks & Spencer and Apple’s new I-pad? How did they come about? Has the income helped your bigger picture?

The woman - whose name is Phildel (a combination of her natural father's name and her mother's name) - responded:

Four of my tracks have been used in commercials around the world, two of them in the UK. They all came about in different ways, through different individuals, agencies or publishers. But my publisher Warner Chappell have been very proactive in the realm of pitching my music for advertising. I re-invest whatever I income I make into top-of-the-range studio equipment and cameras for documenting everything and creating visuals. So, it all goes back into my music.

In addition to signing with publisher Warner Chappell, Phildel has also signed with Decca, and in the process has recorded an album that fleshes out some of her songs with dramatic instrumentation and production. As an example, compare this solo ukelele performance of "Storm Song."

A powerful voice singing a quiet song.

But Phildel has now released another video of the song, with the track that will be released on her forthcoming 2013 album.

The result is a much more dramatic piece. Phildel spoke about this with Stevo:

I would tell Ross Cullum, the producer, all of my ideas – from the large-scale concepts of how the choirs represented ethereal water spirits in the sonic landscape, down to the smallest details of how I thought a cymbal should be EQ’d, when I thought specific sounds were too metallic. He listened carefully and we worked together to create the best album we could. He had the experience, intuition and technical ability, to enhance all of my creative thinking. Out of my music career so far, working with Ross was undoubtedly my greatest highlight.

We should all be able to judge for ourselves.

Her debut album "The Disappearance of the Girl" is set for UK release in January 2013.

She continues to have her champions, including Stevo. I first heard "Storm Song" when he shared it on This is My Jam. As I write this post, it's my jam also.

A final note - I intentionally separated this blog post into two separate parts (the first is here if you didn't see it). While those who have read both parts understand the connection between the two, and why Phildel writes about storms and girls who disappear, it's also quite possible to enjoy "Storm Song" on its own merits.

Storm, part one (no music in Alabama, Iran, or England)

John Bredehoft of Total Plumbing Services is not the only Bredehoft with an Alabama connection. Several of my relatives hail from Guin in Marion County, northwest Alabama, which is where you will find Liberty Christian Academy, a ministry of the First Free Will Baptist Church in Guin. Students at Liberty Christian Academy must meet conduct standards that are foreign to many of us:

A sense of the need for spiritual growth in the light of these principles has led Liberty Christian Academy to adopt the following standards which are conducive to the environment that will best promote the spiritual welfare of the student. The school, therefore, requires each student...whether at home, school, or elsewhere...

1.to refrain from swearing, attendance at movie theaters, indecent language, smoking, drinking, alcoholic beverages, the abuse of drugs, gambling, dancing, involvement in rock music, touching or over familiarity with the opposite sex.

For those who thought that the movie Footloose was a complete work of fiction, read that last paragraph again. But these sentiments are not unique to Guin, or to the 20th and 21st centuries. If you go back several centuries, you can find similar views in certain Christian circles.

The Puritan minister Cotton Mather wrote in the 17th century that dancing was a creation of the devil, and warned that a “CHRISTIAN OUGHT NOT TO BE AT A BALL” [capitalization from original].

But before you completely condemn Liberty Christian Academy and Cotton Mather, note that they did not ban ALL music.

Ali Khamenei, the supreme religious leader of Iran, has made several pronouncements regarding music.

Q: What type of music is forbidden?

A: Music performed exclusively in debaucherous (lahw) circles is forbidden.

Q: What is the ruling on teaching various musical instruments to children at or near the age of puberty?

A: The matter of teaching music relates the basic ruling on music. In a general sense, the teaching of music is not compatible with the goals of an Islamic order. To teach music during the most suitable ages for learning is not devoid of corruption and sedition (mofsedeh).

Q: With regard to the teaching of music, I note respectfully that, replying to the above question, you stated in writing that the teaching and propagation of music is inconsistent with the goals of the blessed order of the Islamic Republic. Is the above ruling one of guidance, or an official governmental ruling? It is worth noting that some responsible parties recommend the teaching of music, especially for the youth. My humble question is: What is the concensus opinion between yourself and those who favor the teaching of music to the youth?

A: The teaching and playing of music to and by the youth causes them to deviate and results in corruption, and thus, is not permissible. In general, the propagation of music in not compatible with the goals of the Islamic order. It is not permissible for people to use their own preferences and inclinations in the name of culture and the art of teaching and training the youth.

These restrictions on teaching music to youth are not restricted to Iran. They can also be found in England. There you can find the story of an eight year old girl whose mother remarried. Her new stepfather "banned music from their household, claiming it to be an unholy waste of time." Since the girl loved music, this became too much to bear, and she left home at age 17. Several years later, in 2005, the girl (now a grown woman) spoke about this decision.

Despite the times when my step-father did help with my homework and attempt to lift my spirit, which I am grateful for, the values of my mother and stepfather in general were very different to my own and this certainly led to tensions. I continued to live at home for almost 10 years but during my A-levels I knew it would be best to leave. So I began living at my father’s house.

I felt very unhappy about leaving my sister because I knew my decision would be hardest for her to accept. I had to rely on the hope that, remembering how diffi cult it had been for me, she might understand. Luckily for me, she does and I know we will always have the bond that first made me feel less alone all those years ago. As for my mother and stepfather, our relationship actually improved dramatically once I had moved out. I feel closer to both of them now than I ever did before. I think this is partly because there is less stress on the family as a whole.

The 2005 interview does not mention music...in retrospect, a curious omission.

To be continued.

(Postscript: if you were a member of the Empoprises Public Community on Google+, you would already know what I'm going to be saying in the next post, and what the "storm" is that I'm talking about in the title.)

When the rap wars got a little TOO heavy

For ignorant Americans like myself, I should clarify that this headline didn't really refer to the Compton-based rap group, but to North Waziristan. The article ran in the Pakistani newspaper The Nation.

But if the violence from the 1990s had continued unabated, who knows what could have happened?

On page 5, Leonard Bernstein

I found this floating around on Facebook.

P.S. This happens to be post number 666 in the Empoprise-MU music blog. Go figure.

Rebecca Black's career resurrection continues

Despite my recent comment at the end of this post, I actually like Rebecca Black. In my view, she got herself into a bad situation by putting her trust in the wrong people. However, there are a lot of young people (and a lot of old people) that have made similar mistakes.

Therefore, I was pleased to hear that Black will be performing at the House of Blues in Anaheim on December 23. (And yes, it's on a...Sunday.)

For those who haven't been following the Rebecca Black story, she has been working on rebounding from the negative reaction to the "Friday" video. Her first step was proving that she could actually sing (hint: the U.S. national anthem is not the easiest song to sing). Her second step was to get better management. Her third step was to start getting better material (which isn't a hard thing to do). For example, here is a video that she posted last month for the new song "In Your Words."

The new song, which received advance coverage on noted online music publication Mashable, is somewhat more mature-sounding than her previous releases. Purists will argue that it's not blues, but there are purists that will argue that Eric Clapton isn't blues, either. It's a good song.

I do have a quibble with House of Blues, however. "In Your Words" hadn't been released when the show page was posted, but House of Blues did post three other song samples - "My Moment," "Person of Interest," and one other. Part of me understands why they listed that other song sample first - after all, that's the song that she's known for - but I don't think I would have made that choice. If you want people to come to your venue to hear Rebecca Black, you want to give them a reason for coming, and therefore you'd want to promote her newer, better material.

And yes, this is an all ages show. Otherwise, the performing artist herself wouldn't be able to get in.