Earworm rhymes with...appendix F?

[DISCLOSURE: I AM EMPLOYED IN THE BIOMETRIC INDUSTRY, AND MY CURRENT AND FORMER EMPLOYERS HAVE OFFERED FBI CERTIFIED PRODUCTS.]

This is a follow-up to my March 23 post Why two earworms burrowed my brain. You know how some people track their dreams? I track my earworms.



I was sitting at my desk on Thursday and noticed that the Duran Duran song "American Science" was passing through my brain. I love this song, because it exhibits the world-weariness of the band in their mid-20s (the same weariness that afflicted George Harrison before his 23rd birthday). Duran Duran had enjoyed immense worldwide popularity, but by the time the "Notorious" album was released, it was getting a bit tiresome (especially for two of the Taylors, who had left the band by that time). The album song sequencing begins with the title track, "Notorious" - with its funky sound and the "notorious" lyrics that suggest earlier triumphs. But then, beginning with "American Science," side 1 of the album (back then, albums had sides) has a decided adult feel, with mentions of megalomania and the like, and the kids probably wandered away and waited for Axl Rose to show up.

I seem to have digressed from my earlier topic - WHY was this song stuck in my head?

It turns out that while sitting at my desk, I had previously read a press release from a company known as AMREL. The press release described the FBI certification of the XP7-ID biometric handheld device. In essence, FBI certification means that under certain circumstances, fingerprints captured on the XP7-ID can be submitted to the FBI's Next Generation Identification (NGI) system.

The press release, however, failed to mention whether the XP7-ID had the more stringent "Appendix F" certification, or the less stringent "PIV" certification. To find this out, I had to go to a U.S. government website and find the page that actually discussed the certification. When I did so, I not only discovered that the device did have the more stringent Appendix F certification, but also that the official name of the company in question was not AMREL, but American Reliance, Inc.

American Reliance. Rhymes with American Science. Geddit?

I just hope that there isn't a biometric company with a product that sounds like "skin trade."

P.S. The APMP guy in me offers one suggestion - never, never, NEVER use the phrase "best of breed" in a press release to describe your product. It makes your product sound like a dog.